God's World, My Lens

God's World, My Lens

black & white sketch of open book, eye glasses on top, a throw and a mug beside

My Lens: God's Lens: Your Lens:

Encourage women to enrich their relationship with the Lord
by seeing themselves through His eyes and
hearing and seeing Him from your heart

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God's World, My Lens

black & white sketch of open book, eye glasses on top, a throw and a mug beside

My Lens:         Encourage women to enrich their relationship with the Lord
God's Lens:    By seeing themselves through His eyes and
Your Lens:       Hearing & seeing Him from your heart

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Nativity scene with cross and crown

this baby was born to die

1 Comment / blog /

The trifecta of U.S. holidays have come and gone…Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve.  They are all wonderful holidays, but I have a sigh of relief now that they are over.  All my Christmas decorations are packed away, and my houses is back in order…that is such a sweet feeling of peace for me.  This year was unusually busy with family events starting with 4 days of Thanksgiving (celebrating with beloved out-of-town relatives), going through several days of family Christmas parties and games, then finishing with having a good-bye open house for some dear friends.  I am not usually that much of a social butterfly.  I have to say though each person at each event was a treasure to me.   I would sum it up as family, friends, fun, feasts and fatigue! I have felt exceptionally blessed this holiday season and in spite of the busyness, I have felt a deeper relationship with the Lord.  The true meaning of Christmas was not lost on me and this year in particular I became more aware that Jesus, the baby born in a stable was born to die an ugly, humiliating death in order that I may join Him in heaven.  What a God!!  With that in mind, this is what I wrote then through the magic of AI, I morphed it into a song. Click below to hear the song. This baby sent from on high This baby was born to die On a night filled with light From a star that shined bright In a stable snug and warm Lay a newborn in a manger worn. Used by cows and sheep alike, Never would have thought It would hold a king that night.  This baby sent from on highThis baby was born to die Born of a young virgin motherThis baby was like no other.Even angels came to declareThe glory of the king who lay thereSo innocent and at peace curledHe would one day change all of the world This baby would grow like every manBut each day He knew the final planHe healed the sick, demons out castMiracles performed…a Savior at lastHe willingly went to the crossTo die so we would not be lost This baby sent from on highThis baby was born to dieThis baby was born for His life to giveThis baby was born so I may liveEternity awaits for those who believeJesus has died for our sins to relieve But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all. Isaiah 53:5-6

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The king’s court

2025, blog /

My last post ended with the poem “The King’s Court” that I wrote.  I am starting with the same poem because it is the subject that has been on my mind. The King’s Court She walked through the field with her head held high as a queen gracefully walking into her court. Frosted grass was her carpet, trees stood guard. The dog was her court jester; the cows were the courtiers huddled together whispering secrets to one another… looking up with respect as she strode past them. And she felt regal as she continued humming the song “Be thou my Vision oh Lord of my heart” She knew no king had a court as fine or spectacular as God had given her in her field. No man-made court could be as magnificent as the one she walked through each day. She held her head high because she was a daughter of the King… and when she walked through His court, she found Him waiting for her there …daily. ________________________________________________________ Using AI, I created this song below out of the poem. __________________________________________________________________ Where do you go to meet with our King…the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords? Except in this bitter cold weather (-13 below zero or colder) when I take my dog, Oliver, out…I almost always meet with my Lord as I walk the property.  It is just like the poem says. I am out there talking with God and enjoying the beauty of His nature.  Day or night they are equally a special time for me with Him.  Often, I am so enthralled with the beauty of God’s nature that I feel enveloped by His Presence.  In the book of Esther (in the Bible) there is a powerful king.  This king was so full of himself that he would not let anyone come into his presence…into his court unless he lifted his golden scepter granting them permission.  If he wasn’t in a good mood or just annoyed and did not lift the scepter, the person would be put to death!  (if you have not read the book of Esther, it is a must read.  For those of you who have not read it… it is a story of a young woman whose parents died.   Her uncle took her in.  They apparently had a close and good relationship because she was obedient to whatever her uncle asked of her.  At the risk of her own life, she even entered the court of the narcissistic king…he lifted his scepter and through a series of intriguing events, her obedience saved the Jewish nation from annihilation!) Everyone, I think, has a different place where they meet with the Lord.  It could be a special reading chair, a peaceful room or maybe your closet. (I used to use the closet often…the Lord and I wrestled over several things in that closet.) The location does not matter.  What matters is that you spend time in conversation with the Lord.  Conversation?  I use that word instead of prayer, because for many their prayer time is a one-way street. Give God the grocery list of things you want, say thank you and amen. Duty done.  In a conversation there is a give and take of ideas, thoughts and feelings. In a conversation you have to stop and listen.  And when you enter the Creator of the Universe’s court, He holds out His gold scepter and listens to you. How amazing to be in the most powerful King’s court while He invites you in. This is a time to humble yourself; it is a time to open your heart, soul and mind to Him. “For this is what the high and exalted One says —He who lives forever, whose name is Holy: “I live in a high and holy place, but also, with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite.” Isaiah 57:15 You feel unworthy to be in the presence of the God who created everything?  So do I.  But I trust in the knowledge that this all controlling God wanted a relationship with me, so much so, that His only begotten Son died to make me righteous.  That grants me entrance into His court.  Jesus being raised up on the cross to die for us is comparable to the Father holding His golden scepter up.  Except it is of much greater value than gold. I don’t believe we should act by feelings but by faith.  However, if you have not felt you have been in the presence of the Lord there are likely 1 or 2 reasons you aren’t. As a note: it seems unforgiveness is a big sin for people.  It grows into bitterness building a block between you and the Lord. In essence it is a form of pride. (I did not deserve to be treated that way)  In the prayer we refer to as The Our Father, Jesus states: “and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.”  Mathew 6:12  NLT Hmmm…in the Our Father we are asking God to forgive us our sins just like we forgive others…if we are not forgiving others then what??  (I don’t have time or possibly the brain power to flush out that one!) “Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name.”    Psalm 100:4  NIV That is how to be in the presence of the Lord, start by praising and thanking Him.  As stated before: open your heart, mind and soul to Him.  And wait. “My soul waits for the Lord, more than watchmen wait for the morning; Indeed, more than the watchmen wait for the morning” Psalm 130:6  NASB Psalm 130:6 is an analogy (God is so good at giving us word pictures to help our understanding).  Wait in this verse means expectation.  That is what the watchman did in ancient times.

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praise!?

2 Comments / 2025, blog /

Living here in the United States, where we are so independent and so self-sufficient it is hard to understand (at least for me) praising God. I always praised my kids when they were young. Told them how good they were (when they were good) and I told them how much I loved them.  But with God, He is is always good. He is always just. He is always almighty. He is always loving, always kind, and so many other qualities.  He is always worthy of praise.   And the way I praised my kids hardly seems adequate for Him. Maybe if we lived in a kingdom where you were forced to praise your king all the time words would flow easier. However, I doubt they would be sincere, probably only forced.  Somehow when I tried to praise God, I have felt like my words were hollow and not sure I could figure out how to make them extend from my heart… does that make sense? Since I have felt so inadequate at it. I decided to turn it over to God. I told God that if I am to praise Him (which I know I am), He would need to teach me. So that has been my prayer for about the last month, Lord teach me how to praise You.  Recently, without realizing it, I found myself humming hymns all day. ( I never hummed.)  I was raised Catholic so we didn’t have a lot of hymn singing in my church. Because of that, I really don’t know a lot of words to the hymns. But I found myself humming  them anyway. And also, I have been waking up every morning with a song in my head… a Christian song! I used to occasionally wake up with a song but it was from my teenage years… which were far from Christian. Those songs are gone, and God replaced them with songs praising Him.  And now I am working on memorizing scripture that praises God so that I can use His words to honor and praise Him.  I never thought that praising God would put me in such a good head space but it does.  It relaxes my mind and draws me closer to my Creator God.  (A side note here, the other day I was telling a friend about the humming and she told me how healthy it is for you.  Psychology Today states that it can reduce stress, calm the mind, stimulate the vegas nerve and lower heart rate… no wonder I have been in a better headspace.) Then the other day I woke up not with a song in my head for the first time in a month or so but with these words creating a start to this poem. The King’s Court She walked through the field with her head held high as a queen gracefully walking into her court. Frosted grass was her carpet, trees stood guard.  The dog was her court jester; the cows were the courtiers huddled together whispering secrets to one another…looking up with respect as she strode past them.  And she felt regal as she continued humming the song “Be thou my Vision oh Lord of my heart”. She knew no king had a court as fine or spectacular as God had given her in her field. No man-made court could be as magnificent as the one she walked through each day. She held her head high because she was a daughter of the King and when she walked through His court, she found Him waiting for her there…daily.  “Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—” Psalms‬ ‭103‬:‭2‬ ‭NIV‬‬  “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God”. John‬ ‭1‬:‭12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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Pond with dirty, scummy water

pond scum

2 Comments / 2024, blog, book - Reflections of God /

When my husband and I were in our mid-thirties we hosted a small group Bible Study at our house. Our church sent some of us to get training in various church related things. One thing I learned that has stuck with me to this day, is the training in small group dynamics. In general, in each group different people fall into different roles. The obvious ones are the leader and the hosts. There would be a compassionate person, a person who lacked patience, a timekeeper but the one that stayed with me most (and the one that has assisted me in handling small groups since) is the EGR… Extra Grace Required. Our group had an obvious EGR. For me it took a lot of patience to deal with her. She was in Sunday School with me, in some of our women’s groups with me and at least two more groups WITH me. I did not know how to handle her negativity and entitlement issues. The only thing I could think to do was ask the Lord to let me see her through His eyes. (Remembering that He loved her as much if not more than He loved me.) So when we had conversations, I would look directly in her eyes asking the Lord to let me see her through His eyes, to see the beauty in her that He sees. To give me a heart of love for her. One night, our group was over, and people were getting ready to leave. I saw EGR walking towards me. I quickly began planning getaway strategies (the bathroom was occupied so that didn’t work, maybe get engrossed in putting food away?). EGR was too fast. Before I could plot alternative escapes, she reached me. I put on a smile, looked into her eyes, reminded myself that God loved her as much or more than He loved me and asked her how she was while mentally bracing myself for her classic EGR response. She ignored my question while awkwardly telling me that in one of her classes in church, they were told to thank the person who made the biggest difference in their spiritual life. She proceeded to thank me. Wait, what? She was actually thanking me!? I felt like pond scum. I wished the floor would crack open to swallow me up. It still brings tears to my eyes knowing she was not thanking me; she was thanking the Lord. He took over as I would talk to her (praying the whole time). There have been several times in my life that I felt the Lord was humbling and chastising me. This moment was a big one. Did I think I was better than her… maybe in God’s eyes I was the EGR. (After all He needed to humble me).​ “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.” I Samuel 16:7b Epilogue: After that day, the Lord opened my eyes to the beauty of that person and gave me a heart of compassion for her as well as understanding for how hard it was for her being a single mother. Fast forward 30 years: The last 12 years of my work career were in Human Resources, specifically in employment. I dealt with hundreds of people, and I can honestly say only a handful of them did I out and out not like. With those (as with others) I looked into their eyes and prayed. There was one man that my instincts told me we should not hire. But against my advice they did. Three months later he was being terminated. I did not like him at all (he creeped me out) and did not want to be in a room alone with him. I told him my boss would do an exit interview with him. He refused to meet with him, he said that of everyone in the company I was the kindest one to him. He thanked me for that… sound familiar?  Only God.

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Golden doodle, Oliver, close up with sign that says: pray, wait, trust

pray, wait, trust

2 Comments / 2025, blog, book - Reflections of God /

I have a little sign in my living room, it says: Pray, WAIT, Trust. I’m not one to pick up signs to decorate with but this one spoke to me, and I keep it in a prominent place. At one point in my life, I did a study on the word ‘wait’ in Psalms. There are several words we translate as wait that have different roots in Hebrew. The focus of my study was the meaning: look for, hope, expect eagerly. (I‘d give you the Hebrew word for it, but I can’t pronounce it nor spell it correctly). I don’t know about your world but in my world, there is a lot of waiting. Waiting in line for groceries, waiting in line at the car wash, waiting to pick up prescriptions, waiting on the phone to get to a real live person (that one can take over an hour). Are these the types of waiting that we are to look for and expect eagerly? I think not but they are expectations. We are expecting to get groceries, a clean car, prescriptions to help us, and once we get that live human, hopefully they will solve the problem. But certainly, that is not what the word wait in Psalms refers to.​ When my dog Oliver was three, he was temporarily on a bland diet of rice and ground beef. He only had the same food all his life (boring). He was beyond excited when feeding time came to get that new taste sensation. He would come into the kitchen and carefully watched as I prepared it. He would prance as we went into the laundry room where I feed him. I made him sit and wait while I set his dish down. He could barely control his body. His eyes glued to the dish, his body trembling… the expectation took over his body and mind as he eagerly waited for the signal to go for it. ​ Not to oversimplify things, but I think this is what the Psalmist is referring to in Psalm 130:5 (my favorite verse in Psalms) when he says: “I wait on the Lord, my soul waits and in His Word I hope.” (ESV). The NIV translate it as: “I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits and in His Word I put my hope.” When I gave Oliver that new food everything in him waited in eager expectation. As I read this verse, I think that is how the Psalmist felt. It reminds me that is how I should be…eagerly awaiting to learn/hear from God and to be singly focused on His Word (the Bible). I have found that no matter how painful or dramatic a situation is…the Lord never changes. My focus needs to stay on Him.  And I need to wait on Him, be faithful and obedient during the time of waiting.  My trust is in the Word that He has written for us to understand Him and how to live our lives. And I eagerly wait for the day I am with Him as His Word has promised. (Even though I look forward to that day, I am in no hurry!) “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.” John 3:16-17

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Large moon amidst trees and clouds

supermoon

2025, blog /

There are so many choices to write about: Lazarus chickens (bet that got your attention), the moon, jigsaw puzzles, sparkling grass…but I think I will settle on the moon.  It is beautiful tonight.  It is classified as a supermoon. Supermoons are not common yet there is one more coming this year in December.  I look forward to every supermoon. What makes it a “super” moon?  It is a full moon; at its best it will be 100% illuminated.  But that is not what classifies it as a supermoon.  It actually is called that when the moon is full and when its orbit is closest to the Earth.  Supermoons have an assortment of names.  The October one was called the Harvest moon. It was named this because it traditionally provided farmers with extra evening light to harvest crops before the frost set in. Tonight’s supermoon is called the Beaver moon. It was named by Native Americans because it signaled when the beavers started building their dams and the trappers started hunting them. It has also been called freezing moon or frost moon. (Interestingly there is going to be a hard frost tonight.) Supermoons have changed predatory patterns among animals because of the brightness of the nights. The fact that animals respond, every year for centuries, to these moons is astonishing. Many animals will start prepping for the winter too, based on the phases of the moon. As if the awesomeness of the supermoon is not enough to grace our sky, tonight there are the Norther Lights (aurora borealis). The Northern Lights are caused by charged particles from the sun hitting gases in the Earth’s atmosphere. One astronomer says to think of it like a big sneeze from the sun full of charged particles. (I’m not sure I like the thought of the sun sneezing on us!?) Hence (that sounds like an old fashion word, but I use the word “so” way too often so I’m looking for an alternative…I could also use “therefore” or “thus”…not fond of those either…if you have another suggestion just leave it in the comments). As I was saying, hence, we have a double dose of awesomeness tonight: Supermoon and the Northern Lights! There is such order to God’s creation, for instance, many animals’ lives change according to moon phases or ocean tides based on the same.  The seasons changing, sunrise, sunset. All has a purpose that was designated by God before the earth was created. And what is even cooler is that we all were created with a purpose…designated by God before creation. Our primary purpose is to bring honor and glory to God. But in addition we have a purpose in our personal lives. I think I have found mine…have you found yours? (I know you are thinking: aren’t you going to tell us? Not tonight that is a blog for another day.) “For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities – all things were created through Him and for Him.”     Colossians 1:16

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trunk of a large pine tree shot from close up looking up to the sky

trees

2025, blog /

I remember watching a series where pioneers were settling in the west and one episode was called Trees.  In order to farm they had to painstakingly dig out and remove the many trees on their land.  It showed too, several years later where they had to replant trees because they were needed for shade, protection and to keep the soil from eroding.  Trees had a huge impact on their lives. I guess like everything in nature there is good and bad that can happen.  Rain is wonderful to feed crops but can be devastating to properties if it comes down in a deluge where cars, houses and sometimes people float away.  The ocean is amazingly beautiful but when a hurricane comes the ocean can ravage the coastline.  And trees can fall on houses or electric lines creating a lot of damage during storms. Even with all that some people take solace in the ocean; it is home to them. Others love a gentle rain finding pitter-patter of raindrops on the roof soothes their soul. For me, my solace is in trees.  No matter how stressful a day or events become, trees give me comfort.  They relax me.  Even at night, when I am out with my dog, Oliver, I will shine my flashlight on them, and they instantly create a calm…a peacefulness in me. I would hardly call myself a “tree-hugger”, but I have to admit, one day while walking out back I reached over and hugged a branch of a white pine.  I was just so happy as I listened to the wind winding its way through the stretches of pines, poplars, birches and maples lining the back of the property that I could not control myself! The majority of my life, I had lived in the suburbs of Chicago where concrete outweighs nature.  But even there I had my little plot in my backyard filled with grass, hostas and flowers which were bordered by feeble-looking trees.  That yard brought me peace in all the chaos of suburban life. When I worked, I struggled to concentrate and keep my eyes open in long meetings or seminars.  My solution was to doodle…always trees.   My bosses, who originally frowned at the practice, came to understand that drawing trees enhanced my focus. As a matter of fact, I had one boss (who was dear to my heart) that when I was not looking would scribble in purple ink on my tree doodle and then expect me to create something out of his doodle! I don’t remember many but the first one I think I made it into a kite. Recent numbers say that there are over 73,300 species of trees globally!  (My guess is I am familiar with less than 30.)   Wow!  Why on earth did God create so many species??  He could have easily created 10 that would be able to live in all climates.  Just like He could have given us a black and white world…we would never know the difference. Why has God created so much variety in all living things?  Those are things I ponder. My thinking is because He loves us so much that He knew we would struggle to understand that He is all Good, Immutable, Almighty, Omnipresent, Omnipotent, all Knowing, the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End.  (How could our limited minds understand all that and how much more that He is?) Because we would not be able to grasp all of what God is, I believe He wanted to give us a glimpse of His Great Majesty.  So, when I look at trees, that is what I see…the Great Majesty of God. Ps. I may be a little strange, but I also see God’s Majesty in a blade of grass too! “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. Jeremiah 17:7-8 “But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Which of all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this? In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.” Job 12:7-10

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girl kneeling at the cross

balance

3 Comments / 2025, blog /

I write often about the heart.  I suppose when I do, it is that it may be interchangeable with the soul.  But to clarify, there is a difference between the body, soul and spirit. (Some say there is a difference between the soul and the heart but I don’t subscribe to that. You can research and make your own conclusions.) Basically, the body is what houses the physical part of us.   The soul is the physical, emotional and mental aspect of a person.  The spirit is the divine connection where we meet with God after having come to faith. (Interesting, there are 3 parts to us just like the God whose image we are created in has 3 parts to Him…the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.) So, when I write about the heart, technically I am writing about the soul. Just as an FYI in more obscure languages they may interpret the soul as the liver or some other vital organ because the heart does not have the same connotation to them as it does to us. We experience emotional pain in our hearts…in our souls.  There are some events that I am walking through that hurt deep into my heart right now.  It’s hard to know where the heart pain stops and the physical pain begins.  Because of that my spirit may become blocked…not allowing that divine connection to flow. I find it strange that at times I may need it the most, I allow my emotions to rule instead of moving right into seeking God’s peace in the Spirit with Him. (Sometimes, I wish I had a plunger to remove the blockage, wouldn’t that be easier?) From time to time, I stubbornly hold on to that blockage.  If I let go of it, I may have to hear or know what God is teaching me through it all when I just want things status quo as it was prior to the pain…which may be the worse thing for me or those around me.  Today as I write this, I know MY only choice is to grab that plunger and begin work on opening the flow with the Holy Spirit.  How?  By reading my Bible, praying and asking God to forgive me for my stubbornness…and of course repenting.    Repenting…sometimes I would rather justify my actions.  I didn’t have time to read and pray, I had company. I didn’t have time, I was too tired. I didn’t have time because I overbooked my schedule…and yes, I hate to admit, I think I DESERVE to relax my mind by watching tv or by playing a game on my tablet.  (Really?) Actually, in moderation none of those things are wrong…it is about balance.  I have been off balance lately.  God has impressed me with that.  He’s impressed me with my need to repent, use the plunger and draw closer to Him.  Today I worked on that. He brought me to my knees.  Now I have to begin anew my practices in life.  Less tv, less overbooking, more rest, etc.  More God. My balance will return as I make Him my priority.  Honestly, how can I get so caught up in daily things that I put the Creator (that I was made in His image) after life issues?  It makes me realize my broken humanness and the influence of the enemy to keep my focus off our God. Surprisingly…or maybe not so…I see more clearly in my brokenness.  I hear more clearly from the Lord.  I become more dependent and more obedient to His call on my life. So, Lord, thank You for the heart break, thank You for the brokenness! Thank You for the peace You provide in Christ during these times! “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”   John 16:33 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”    Psalm 34:18

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mountains with ocean below. A little girl near the top stepping off the cliff into God's hand

the edge of the cliff

3 Comments / 2025, blog /

When my children were in their teens, there was a very active youth group in our church.  They had a leader who loved to rock climb and often took the kids.  This was real rock climbing (not one of those fake walls) in a Wisconsin State Park.  One such adventure they were in need of a woman chaperone, so I offered to go. (I loved going to youth group events.)  My kids were amazing rock climbers…they reminded me of a spider climbing a wall, It seemed effortless.  As my kids skillfully worked their way up, I was encouraged to give it a try.   I’d been watching over an hour as one kid after another carefully donned the required gear.  I saw too, that the belayers (men who manned the ropes) never let anyone fall.  They encouraged the climber and gave them a gentle tug up if they got stuck. Though I had a fear of heights, I figured if they could do it, why couldn’t I? I geared up.  My belayer was a strong guy (he needed to be with me on the line!). When I got up about 8 feet, I decided I was ready to get down.…no such luck! I got a tug and against my better judgement I continued up a few more feet (not that anyone was giving me a choice at this point). A few more feet I once again told my belayers I could come down now.  This time I got a big tug up (they now had two belayers…both laughing with every tug) and that kept going all the way to the top. The kids were laughing and encouraging me to go upward…my pride made me hide how scared I really was! By that point I realized my kid’s spider abilities did not come from me. Once to the top I started my descent.  Now that was fun.  I landed with shaky legs feeling very accomplished.  (Why, I don’t know…the belayers did the hard work.)  (All these years I was convinced it was like a 150-foot wall of rock we climbed. I recently looked it up and it appears that park’s rock faces were rarely more than 40-feet…but it felt like so much more!! Really, if I fell 40 feet or 150 feet, I think the results would be the same.) Since I enjoyed the descent so much, I walked to the top of the hill to join those who were rappelling down.  To me that sounded easier and more fun than climbing.  The only problem was that once I was geared up and harnessed to the rope, I could not step off the edge of the cliff! It was the same rock wall that I had just “climbed” and descended.  But even with all the gear, knowing there was a belayer who would not let me crash into the rock wall or splatter on the ground, I could not step off that cliff.  My head knew I could trust the ropes, trust the gear and trust the belayers…yet I could not do it! Sometimes I am just like that in life.  How many things have I not done because of an unfounded fear holding me back?  Even though I know I have the mightiest belayer there is…God. I know God will guide me safely if I will just give Him control of the ropes.  He is everything…the gear, the helmet, the harness, the belayer and even the rope.  All is safe and secure in Him…yet there are times I have hesitated to take that first step off the cliff. It looked overwhelming. Today if I find taking that step is too overwhelming, I review all that God has done for me in the past.  I remind myself that God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  He will never leave me or forsake me.  Satan often tries to convince me that the cliff is too high, that I will splatter to the ground, but I am able to resist his lies by reminding myself of the proven track record of my Triune God.  By focusing on Him, I am able to take that first step off the cliff…and guess what?  I fall…into God’s arms and He carries me…not the rope!  How can you not love a God like Him? “It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure…You (God) make Your saving help my shield, and Your right hand sustains me. Psalm 18:32,35 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Hebrews 13:8

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heart wrapped in ropes attached to a 500 lb weight

heavy heart

2024, blog /

For several days now my heart was heavy. Not from physical weight (though I could lose a few pounds) but from life issues.  Many of which are life and death issues, some are relationship, some are watching loved ones not making good decisions, we had a car accident (we are not injured but my poor car was totaled) and on top of it all my beloved Oliver (dog) ate some poisonous greens.  (Oliver is fine now luckily his body rejected them- that was not pretty!) My heart was so heavy I didn’t think I could carry it anymore. (That almost sounds like I was suicidal – no I was not.)  But its weight was immobilizing me.  During the past couple weeks, I have reached out to my dear prayer warriors but I am used to going to them on behalf of others…not for myself. (That was humbling.) This weight made me feel like I was totally self-absorbed.  I knew the world around me still turned, filled with life, love, good things and not so good things like wars and man’s inhumanity to man.  But it has been as if I have had blinders on to anything not happening to me and my family.  I know that in times like this I have to draw closer to the Lord.  It is not always easy but to not do that is to give the enemy victory.  And really, I have no desire to give the enemy satisfaction of taking me out of the fight for God’s glory. Several friends sent me tunes that they treasure and lift their spirits.  I played them when I took Oliver out before he went to bed.  The stars were amazing, no fog, no cloud cover just “the heavens declaring the glory of God!” (Psalm 19:1) That did lift my spirits, but I still felt overwhelmed. After Oliver picks up his toys and I put him to bed, the house is all mine (my husband goes to bed earliest, than Oliver and I am the late-night one).  Since I still felt weighed down, I turned to the Word of God. After donning the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-19) I prayed in the Spirit turning over some wants and desires to the Lord, trusting He knew best for me.  Then He sent me outside again.  So about 2:00 am I went outside with music blaring. It was dark!  I can’t really keep my head turned towards the sky (bad neck), so I head to our large propane tank lean backwards over it (better than laying on dew-soaked grass) to gaze at the stars.  They were mesmerizing, I felt as if I could just be enveloped by them and float into space, towards the Creator of it all.  I think what it must have been like for King David when he was a shepherd boy sleeping with his sheep.  No outside lights just the moon and the stars provided by God.  It helps me understand Psalm 19.  I came back in, putz around the house a bit and went to bed with a heart that was bearable.  Today my heart is still weighed down but now I know I don’t have to carry it alone.  The Lord has given me great friends, His Son and His Holy Spirit to assist in the heavy lifting.   (Please note: I wrote this in 2024 but just now decided to publish it. Since then, I have leaned into the Lord. He is amazing how He takes care of us!) “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.  Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge.” Psalm 19:1-2 “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms…And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” Ephesians 6:10-13, 18

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