God's World, My Lens

God's World, My Lens

black & white sketch of open book, eye glasses on top, a throw and a mug beside

My Lens: God's Lens: Your Lens:

Encourage women to enrich their relationship with the Lord
by seeing themselves through His eyes and
hearing and seeing Him from your heart

God's World, My Lens

black & white sketch of open book, eye glasses on top, a throw and a mug beside

My Lens:         Encourage women to enrich their relationship with the Lord
God's Lens:    By seeing themselves through His eyes and
Your Lens:       Hearing & seeing Him from your heart

2024

Pond with dirty, scummy water

pond scum

When my husband and I were in our mid-thirties we hosted a small group Bible Study at our house. Our church sent some of us to get training in various church related things. One thing I learned that has stuck with me to this day, is the training in small group dynamics. In general, in each group different people fall into different roles. The obvious ones are the leader and the hosts. There would be a compassionate person, a person who lacked patience, a timekeeper but the one that stayed with me most (and the one that has assisted me in handling small groups since) is the EGR… Extra Grace Required. Our group had an obvious EGR. For me it took a lot of patience to deal with her. She was in Sunday School with me, in some of our women’s groups with me and at least two more groups WITH me. I did not know how to handle her negativity and entitlement issues. The only thing I could think to do was ask the Lord to let me see her through His eyes. (Remembering that He loved her as much if not more than He loved me.) So when we had conversations, I would look directly in her eyes asking the Lord to let me see her through His eyes, to see the beauty in her that He sees. To give me a heart of love for her. One night, our group was over, and people were getting ready to leave. I saw EGR walking towards me. I quickly began planning getaway strategies (the bathroom was occupied so that didn’t work, maybe get engrossed in putting food away?). EGR was too fast. Before I could plot alternative escapes, she reached me. I put on a smile, looked into her eyes, reminded myself that God loved her as much or more than He loved me and asked her how she was while mentally bracing myself for her classic EGR response. She ignored my question while awkwardly telling me that in one of her classes in church, they were told to thank the person who made the biggest difference in their spiritual life. She proceeded to thank me. Wait, what? She was actually thanking me!? I felt like pond scum. I wished the floor would crack open to swallow me up. It still brings tears to my eyes knowing she was not thanking me; she was thanking the Lord. He took over as I would talk to her (praying the whole time). There have been several times in my life that I felt the Lord was humbling and chastising me. This moment was a big one. Did I think I was better than her… maybe in God’s eyes I was the EGR. (After all He needed to humble me).​ “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.” I Samuel 16:7b Epilogue: After that day, the Lord opened my eyes to the beauty of that person and gave me a heart of compassion for her as well as understanding for how hard it was for her being a single mother. Fast forward 30 years: The last 12 years of my work career were in Human Resources, specifically in employment. I dealt with hundreds of people, and I can honestly say only a handful of them did I out and out not like. With those (as with others) I looked into their eyes and prayed. There was one man that my instincts told me we should not hire. But against my advice they did. Three months later he was being terminated. I did not like him at all (he creeped me out) and did not want to be in a room alone with him. I told him my boss would do an exit interview with him. He refused to meet with him, he said that of everyone in the company I was the kindest one to him. He thanked me for that… sound familiar?  Only God.

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heart wrapped in ropes attached to a 500 lb weight

heavy heart

For several days now my heart was heavy. Not from physical weight (though I could lose a few pounds) but from life issues.  Many of which are life and death issues, some are relationship, some are watching loved ones not making good decisions, we had a car accident (we are not injured but my poor car was totaled) and on top of it all my beloved Oliver (dog) ate some poisonous greens.  (Oliver is fine now luckily his body rejected them- that was not pretty!) My heart was so heavy I didn’t think I could carry it anymore. (That almost sounds like I was suicidal – no I was not.)  But its weight was immobilizing me.  During the past couple weeks, I have reached out to my dear prayer warriors but I am used to going to them on behalf of others…not for myself. (That was humbling.) This weight made me feel like I was totally self-absorbed.  I knew the world around me still turned, filled with life, love, good things and not so good things like wars and man’s inhumanity to man.  But it has been as if I have had blinders on to anything not happening to me and my family.  I know that in times like this I have to draw closer to the Lord.  It is not always easy but to not do that is to give the enemy victory.  And really, I have no desire to give the enemy satisfaction of taking me out of the fight for God’s glory. Several friends sent me tunes that they treasure and lift their spirits.  I played them when I took Oliver out before he went to bed.  The stars were amazing, no fog, no cloud cover just “the heavens declaring the glory of God!” (Psalm 19:1) That did lift my spirits, but I still felt overwhelmed. After Oliver picks up his toys and I put him to bed, the house is all mine (my husband goes to bed earliest, than Oliver and I am the late-night one).  Since I still felt weighed down, I turned to the Word of God. After donning the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-19) I prayed in the Spirit turning over some wants and desires to the Lord, trusting He knew best for me.  Then He sent me outside again.  So about 2:00 am I went outside with music blaring. It was dark!  I can’t really keep my head turned towards the sky (bad neck), so I head to our large propane tank lean backwards over it (better than laying on dew-soaked grass) to gaze at the stars.  They were mesmerizing, I felt as if I could just be enveloped by them and float into space, towards the Creator of it all.  I think what it must have been like for King David when he was a shepherd boy sleeping with his sheep.  No outside lights just the moon and the stars provided by God.  It helps me understand Psalm 19.  I came back in, putz around the house a bit and went to bed with a heart that was bearable.  Today my heart is still weighed down but now I know I don’t have to carry it alone.  The Lord has given me great friends, His Son and His Holy Spirit to assist in the heavy lifting.   (Please note: I wrote this in 2024 but just now decided to publish it. Since then, I have leaned into the Lord. He is amazing how He takes care of us!) “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.  Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge.” Psalm 19:1-2 “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms…And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.” Ephesians 6:10-13, 18

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powerful angel with arms raised and on black background

unknown angel?

In recent years the Lord has given me a heart for the homeless. I used to waiver on whether to stop when I’d see someone holding a sign needing money or help. If I drove by, I’d feel guilty. If I stopped and gave money, I’d wonder if the person was going to use it on drugs. Either way I did not feel good about it. After visiting a homeless mission, I realized what things they could genuinely use and then put together totes. In my car, I keep a tote bag or two containing new socks, a warm knit cap, hand or feet warmers, granola bars, snacks, a bottle of water, and various other things that may be useful. I prayed if God gave me the opportunity to share the tote, I could also share about His great love. Armed with totes in my car, months went by when I did not see any homeless. Then one day I went to update my license plates. As I entered the building, I almost ran into a man fumbling with a heavy duffle bag. I greeted him, opened the door for him as I went to complete my task. On my way out, the man was sitting on a bench next to the building. He was obviously homeless. Unkempt, bent over looking at his hands and shaking. Was this the moment I was praying for? Did God want me to go over there? Was it safe? I felt that Godly nudge…you know the one that if you don’t follow through, you will regret it later. So, I went over to him. I told him about what I had in the tote bag, asking if he could use any of it. He said yes. I gave it to him as I sat down to talk. He was not particularly talkative or forthcoming. But he did talk a little about his homelessness, that he was a Christian and some of his background. His name was Robert G. He asked me why I came there to talk to him. I told him the truth; God told me to. It started to get chilly, so I suggested I get him a meal. (There was a Christian owned restaurant about 2 miles away where I knew several people who would want to assist Robert.) He agreed. Now, I had another decision. Was it safe to take him in my car? That was against all my natural instincts, but I prayed. Feeling peace about it, we drove to the restaurant. (I got there in one piece, not even stabbed but I promised my husband I’d never do that again). As we were walking in, my good friend Joe was coming in too. I introduced Robert to Joe and to the staff in the restaurant. With Joe there Robert was a little more forthcoming though his story changed several times. Robert prayed with Joe to renew his relationship with Christ. He cried…actually sobbed and said he never cries. He seemed to morph in front of our eyes. With food and a renewed faith in Christ, he sat straighter no longer hunched over as if to hide from the world. His shaking died down. One of our friends who was at the restaurant knew of a job that Robert could talk to the manager about the next day. Then I looked at Robert knowing I could not send him out to the cold streets for the night. We contacted a woman who works with homeless in our county and through her connections we were able to get him a night in the local Super 8 motel. Joe arranged to pay for a second night. Since Robert had no identification, I had to sign to be responsible for the 2nd night. (Another prayer to the Lord…is this prudent?) We left him there with a promise he could go back to the restaurant for a free meal anytime. That was the last we saw of Robert. He never went for the job; he never came back for a meal. He seemed to have disappeared. We checked with the police, and I had regularly checked the jail rosters. Nothing. I pray and think about him often. I’ve started wondering if maybe he was an angel? I mentioned that to Joe who said he had been thinking the same thing. We may never know this side of heaven. ​ “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” Hebrews 13:2

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Very dark night sky with stars

light

I am a late-night kind of person. The type who heads to bed around 1:00 – 1:30 am. Early mornings, sunrises, birds chirping, and the smell of fresh dew is lost to me. Most of my friends are morning people who have their cup of coffee, quiet time, prepare breakfasts and maybe even do some house cleaning all before my feet hit the floor. In retirement if it was not for my dog, I would probably sleep through most of the morning. All this to say I love the night…the silence of the night brings me peace. It whispers to me…the glory of the Lord Being from a dense suburban area (northwest suburbs of Chicago) where there was some form of light 24/7, I could only see the moon and maybe a star or two. The move to the country opened me to a new depth of awe of my Creator God. Among other things, I had never been privy to such a display of stars. It’s better than fireworks! (which are pretty impressive in those densely populated suburbs). Today, I was studying the Gospel of John. “The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5 The Lord reminded me that the darker the night, the brighter and more prolific the stars appear. I felt He was telling me, “Yes, the world is a very dark place right now. But look through the darkness, you will see how bright my children are shining through it.” My heart’s desire is to be one of those bright stars reflecting the glory of my God. “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and  glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16  

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painting of an ocean with a broken heart above it. In the center of the broken heart is a cross. In the ocean are people that appear to be drowning.

What breaks God’s heart

While at Abide, where we take a couple hours to individually abide with the Lord, I frequently do prophetic paintings.  One Abide night I asked the Lord what breaks His Heart.  With the prophetic paintings God often gives me glimpses of what I am to paint so I don’t necessarily know what the painting will be when completed.  This night He showed me an ocean.  I love the ocean and like to paint it, so I was content in doing so.  Above it I felt compelled to paint a broken heart with a cross in the middle. Seeking next step in the painting I prayed into what breaks God’s heart.  I found myself painting drowning figures in the rough waves of the ocean.  I started crying. I asked the Lord if I could paint a boat to save them.  He said no… this is what breaks His heart that they chose not to accept His greatest gift, Jesus.  They chose to go their own ways and would drown without Him.  Tears rolled down my cheeks as I finished the painting and as I type this they are starting again.  Far too many people that I love are making the choice to ignore Jesus” sacrifice so we may be with Him in eternity. And that too makes my heart break. “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 6:23 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”            Matthew 25:46

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picture out of car front window of highway with construction

Construction

When I lived in the Chicago area it was said that there were only two seasons: winter and construction.  The same is true of Minnesota.  The summers are shorter here, so construction starts as soon as possible.  At least two weeks beforehand they put up signs stating the date the roadwork will begin.  A week in advance of that date the barriers were dropped on the sides of the road awaiting placement.  A few days before the scheduled start, they added more signs for speed limit changes and detours.  On the start date everything was in place and we all understood the new course the road would take.   I don’t think I had ever thought about it before but this construction season I was kind of impressed by the preparation not only in how they planned it all but in how they prepared our minds to understand and be aware of the changes. I’m not sure about you, but I see this as an allegory for our prayer life.  How?  “Build up, build up, prepare the road! Remove the obstacles out of the way of My people.” Isaiah 57:14 (Another one of my favorite verses.)  I have learned the importance of preparing the road in prayer.  Prayer removes the obstacles in the spiritual realm.  If I am working with a committee, prayer becomes especially important to aide in keeping us on track and of the same mind-set.  In one meeting I was in, no one agreed on how we should proceed with an issue. I suggested we stop to pray, and when the conversation continued, a recommendation was made that we all easily agreed upon.  I have also been in meetings where God was not invited in and hours upon hours were spent trying to come to a consensus.  When I know I have places to go, I will often pray that if God creates an opportunity, I will be ready to share or pray with a person. (Those unexpected God appointments are always the best.) It seems to me that when I don’t think to pray, those special appointments don’t happen.  Though I’m sure the MN Department of Transportation did not intend to give us an example of Isaiah 57: 14… they totally did! “Build up, build up, prepare the road! Remove the obstacles out of the way of My people.” Isaiah 57:14

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Painting of rows of grapevines with no leaves or grapes. There are two hands with pruning shears pruning the grape vines

without me

“I am the vine, you are the branches.  He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit: for without Me you can do nothing.”           John 15:5 NKJ “Without Me”… “Without Me”… God has given me several different assignments ranging from praying specifically for a total stranger, praying specifically for married couples, to writing 30 poems in 30 days, then several months later to write 30 devotions in 30 days…but none I could do without Him. One day I called this woman (I will call her Gretchen which is not her name) to arrange to have her speak at a non-Christian event I was working on.  When Gretchen answered she sounded very upset.  I asked her if she was okay, and she said no.  I have this horrible habit of asking probing questions of people and on this occasion, I did not fail to do so.  Turns out Gretchen’s son-in-law had just committed suicide the day before.  I immediately (without consulting the Lord) asked her if I could pray with her.  Gretchen blew up at me.  She yelled something about us Christians always trying to proselytize and a few other things.  I felt horrible… not about the offer to pray but about butting into something I had no business to do so without consulting with the Lord. I’m not saying I was wrong to probe (though since I did not know her very well, it was probably not a good idea) or to offer to pray, but it was wrong that I did it without my Lord.  As soon as I heard her voice, I should have been in prayer asking the Lord to guide me. But no… my pride (because if you boil it down…it was pride) thought I could handle the situation on my own.  I went into compassionate Phyllis mode which has no value without God.  It is not unlike a clanging gong.  Maybe that is how Lucifer fell…his pride that he could do everything on his own and probably the thought he did not need God led him to be kicked out of heaven… I certainly don’t want to be barred from heaven due to my pride. Upon hanging up I turned to the Lord who gave me wisdom how to email an apology to Gretchen which she accepted.  Next time we saw each other she profusely apologized to me as I did to her.  We hugged it out.  All is good.  But that all would not have happened had I not turned to God for wisdom in emailing the apology.  And I venture to say that none of it would have happened if I had invited God into the original conversation.  Because without God I can do nothing! “I am the vine, you are the branches.  He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit: for without Me you can do nothing.”           John 15:5 NKJ

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Raised garden bed with wheelbarrow and shovel

weeds

Several years back, my husband built a raised bed to plant my vegetables in.  I love it but to my surprise it was inundated with weeds this year. (How does that happen when I’ve kept it weed free each year?)  I’m sure if I had weeded it early in the season it would have been less of them.  A little less than a month ago I spent several hours (on different days) pulling out stray grass and weeds. This year I only planted peppers and tomatoes. There was a good size clump of daisies growing in it (where on earth did that come from?) which I chose to leave because I love their flowers.  Today, my dog Oliver and I went out to tackle those weeds…again.  I pull them and Oliver sneaks them away, chomps on them for a minute or two then leaves them strewn on the lawn.  I suppose I should be annoyed about it but I find everything he does funny…almost.  As I’m sure you know, new plants starts come in those little plastic 4 or 6 packs.  When I finish with the plastic pack, Oliver will sneak it, chew it to pieces and leave those strewn on the lawn too.  One day I did not find this amusing.  I told him to pick them up and put them in the wheelbarrow.  And guess what?  He did!  Of course, he gets incentives…a tiny treat for every piece that made it in. Sorry about that rabbit hole, I will go back to my weeds.  As I was pulling them out I had to admire the tenacity of their roots.  I like to talk with God as I work in the garden.  I asked Him if there was any lingering weeds rooted in my soul.  No answer to that so I went on to discuss the beauty of the daisies and other flowers in my yard.  But tonight He (God) reminded me of several different weeds that still had some roots to pull.  (Bummer, I thought I was doing good.) Probably the main one was that I never want anyone to know that I don’t have things under control and don’t want to show my vulnerability. (Is that a pride issue?)   I realize that is an issue with many people but that does not mean it is not a problem for me.  If I am going to give myself fully to the Lord, I need to be humble and vulnerable before Him.  Here’s what I find for me…I think I give myself fully to the Lord but then He shows me where I am holding back.  I don’t know about anyone else, but I find that giving myself fully to the Lord is an ongoing process.     Any time I think it’s a done deal…the Lord steps in and says “Child, we have more to work on”…more weeds to pull.  Just like my raised garden, I think the soil is cleared of weeds but there is a root somewhere I missed, and it starts growing.  I wonder if I will ever be totally clear of problem roots. I suppose it will never happen this side of heaven because only Jesus was/is totally weed free. “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 NIV

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shed with wooden American flag centered between the windows with Oliver, golden doodle sitting in the foreground

The flag

A summer or two ago we bought a beautifully crafted 3-foot by 2.5-foot wooden American Flag. Deciding where to put it was a no-brainer for us. We have a shed with two windows that face the street. The windows give it the appearance of a tiny house. Even more so when we centered the flag between them and planted sunflowers amidst wildflowers to give it a homey look. My son-in-law decided it needed a light shining on it in the dark. He secretly bought a solar one, crawled up to the shed (so our dog would not bark if he saw him) and strategically placed it to light up the flag at night. What a sweet surprise it was! Especially on breezy nights when the flower’s shadows dance silhouetted by his thoughtful gift onto the flag. ​It is one of my favorite views on my nightly stroll with my dog. Tonight, it was not illuminated. The day was overcast with little to no direct sunlight. As I was staring at it, I told Oliver (my dog, who happens to be a good listener when I ramble on about things) that it was to be expected since the sun was so scarce today. ​ Then it struck me, aren’t we a bit like solar lights? If we don’t make time for the Son (Christ) in our lives daily, we won’t be able to reflect Him. If my day is so filled with…? (I’m not sure I’d like to admit some of my useless time wasters.) And if I only take a few minutes to pray as I’m falling asleep it is as a cloudy day is to solar power. When I have not made time for my Lord, how can I expect to be a light to others? The solar lights shine brightest with constant, unobstructed sun. We too shine brightest in this dark world when we have focused unobstructed time with the Son, Jesus. When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. John 8:12

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painting of a path amidst woods. Trees leaves are oranges and gold with a blues sky.

Paths

Paths were created to be followed which we learned one year when the Girl Scout troop that I led ventured off the beaten path.  For some reason my husband, Danny, came with us on this specific field trip to the Girl Scout camp.  That was unusual as was his approach to hiking.  Being a fairly hot day, while mistakenly taking a relatively long path, we were all dragging.  Not being sure how far our campsite was, increased our mental fatigue.   Danny announced the site was just over the hill.  The only problem was that there was not a path leading up the hill.  We split up, he took several girls and I kept several with me following the path.  Shortly after they headed up the hill, I heard a scream, and another and another.  There was a ground nest of wasps that they had walked on.  I ran over to grab the girls…it was like running in slow motion.  Every step seemed to take minutes at a time.  Danny and two girls had already crossed the nest, which left two girls just entering the wasp zone.  Positioning myself between the remaining two and the angry wasps, we ran back to the path. (Amazingly I did not get stung).  I yelled to Danny to take the girls up so they would not have to back track over the ominous nest.  Fatigue disappeared as the adrenaline rush set in.  All the girls who were with me now picked up their pace as we sprinted back to the camp… to safety, to medical care.  Surprisingly there were only a few stings and thankfully no one was allergic to them. (FYI, Danny’s group did get there much faster than us.) Paths…God created paths for us to follow too. (I bet you knew where I was going with this.)  My trusty (?) internet browser tells me that in the ESV translation, there are 84 Bible verses with either the word path or references to it.  I know that whenever God repeats Himself in His Word, I better pay attention to it.  So, with 84 references, there is no doubt I need to take time to dwell on the concept. Though I have read the Bible cover to cover several times, I have yet to focus on all 84 references (I do think it will make a great study).  But from those I have read, I see I must focus on the Lord; listen to Him to hear His direction; and boldly move forward in the path He has set before me.  How do I know I am on the right path?  I see fruit and receive blessings as I walk with the Lord.  I feel a peace inside, and I consult with God as I take steps forward.  Asking Him to shine His light on the path He chooses for me.  Because I certainly don’t want to stray off His path and get stuck in a wasp’s nest. “Do not turn right or left, keep your foot from evil”   Proverbs 4:27 “The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day.”  Proverbs 4:18 “Your words are like a lamp unto my feet, a light unto my path” Psalms 119:105

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